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♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
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♪
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♪ tense music playing ♪
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TERRY: Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.
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I'm so excited for this dinner,
I could plotz!
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Lawry's cold-soaked tuna is the best!
7
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I haven't eaten all week to get ready.
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Just Red Bull mist
and an occasional line of Cheeto dust.
9
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,819
Ooh, the Jake Paul diet.
10
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You're almost at the ideal
dickhead weight.
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00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:31,657
Welcome to Lawry's: The Prime Rib,
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universally known for prime rib
and really nothing else.
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No need for earthly menus, Lawrence,
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we'll have four orders
of your finest cold soak.
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Nobody ever orders
the whole tuna ceviche.
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We're mostly known
for our prime rib and--
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If I wanted to eat a cow,
I'd grow one in a vat!
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Stop trying to upsell us
and get us our soaked tuna.
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Yeah, so we're not offering
cold-soaked tuna tonight.
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[Terry, Jesse, and Yumyulack gasp]
- Oh, my God.
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- What?
- Did something happen
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to the tuna machine?
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No, today is Valentine's Day,
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and we do a special pre-fixed menu
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with love as our inspiration.
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Ugh, a celebration
of the most disgusting,
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dripping human emotion.
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Our alien bodies are immune to stupid,
stinky hormones like that.
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Just find a mate and swap gametes.
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Why do humans have to add candy
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and cards and make money
off their DNA swapping?
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Just swap it.
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But Valentine's Day is like
the most romantic night of the year.
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It's not just about DNA.
Look around.
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♪ romantic music playing ♪
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No, fuck this.
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We follow a strict eating calendar.
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Every night of the year is booked
at a different restaurant.
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If we change it,
it throws off the entire decade.
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This is an attack.
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This man is trying to starve us!
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I don't know what to tell you.
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If you want the tuna,
you'll just have to come back
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when it's not Valentine's Day.
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I could turn
this whole place to dust
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with a snap
of my Thanos ray, Lawrence.
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My name's not Lawrence.
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It's Antonio Sabato III.
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You'll be hearing
from my bot army, Larry.
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We will never forget this.
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♪ dreamy music ♪
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Damn, that was a long year.
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And while we had to make
some sacrifices to our meal roster...
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Rest in power,
Guy Fieri's Flavor Trough.
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...it was all worth it to make room
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for the wettest meal of all,
Lawry's cold-soaked tuna.
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Fuck off with that.
It's not Valentine's Day.
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It's a Wednesday.
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Valentine's Day is February 14th.
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Always.
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It's tied to the calendar day,
not the day of the week.
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[Opposites gasping]
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TERRY:
Oh, no!
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Not again.
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Korvo, do something!
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This is going to keep happening
unless someone has the guts
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to stand up and stop the madness.
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And even though we technically
don't have guts,
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just a bunch of alien twigs
wrapped around nine beating hearts,
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that someone be us.
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Listen up, you romantic fucks!
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The Solar Opposites are declaring a war
on Valentine's Day.
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Next year.
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Tonight, we shall have four orders
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of your second wettest dish.
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Four bowls of sausage gravy
comin' right up.
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KORVO:
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,
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until the asteroid hit.
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One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa,
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and escaped into the... space,
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searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
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We crashed on Earth,
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stranding us on an already
overpopulated planet.
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That's right,
I've been talking this whole time.
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I'm the one holding the Pupa.
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My name's Korvo. This is my show.
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Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.
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Ugh. This is ridiculous.
I hate Earth.
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It's a horrible home.
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People are stupid and confusing.
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All this Valentine's Day shit
is too huggy-feely.
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You have a tiny baby flying around
wearing a diaper
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making people fall in love.
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Why wear the diaper?
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He should be shitting
on cars like a bird.
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♪ ominous music ♪
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[lightning striking]
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KORVO:
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
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The hour is finally upon us.
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Yes [laughing]
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Wait, what are we doing again?
102
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We're destroying
Valentine's Day, remember?
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We've been planning all year.
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And how are we doing that again?
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We're taking all the items
we've gathered
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that cause people
to fall out of love
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and depositing them into the cauldron
from the Halloween episode.
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The double bubble
will extract the misery matter
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while the toil and trouble
distills it down
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to a single sci-fi pill,
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permanently removing love
from everyone on Earth.
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Mercury will be in retrograde no more.
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Alright, what did everyone gather?
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Oh, me first.
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This crippling porn addiction
should do the trick.
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No marriage could survive
a stash of feet pics
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of every First Lady since 1869.
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[sizzling]
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Terry?
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To add to this brew,
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the video game Destiny 2,
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with an endless amount of exotics
to unlock in weekly raids,
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it's either your fireteam or your family.
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Well done, Terry.
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My contribution are these texts
from a friend
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who's in town for a reptile convention
and wants to catch up.
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Aw, the Pupa brought heroin.
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Good Pupa.
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Jesse, you are awfully quiet.
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Are you taking some
sort of weird stand
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like when you stopped eating meat
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because you said
the vegetables had it coming?
133
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No. Sorta.
134
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It's just that I actually like
Valentine's Day.
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[Terry, Korvo, and Yumyulack gasp]
- Why?
136
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It's about selling pink merch
137
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and making people feel bad
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about not even having a robot girlfriend.
139
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Oh, come on, little baby Cupids,
the heart decorations?
140
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Are we sure we wanna get rid of love?
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Um, we're Shlorpians,
we don't even have love.
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It means nothing to us.
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Look what you did, Jesse.
You made Terry be right.
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We don't have love.
145
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We don't?
146
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No, we have teammate affinity.
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It's an ingrained, unemotional attachment
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that supports the mission.
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[liquid bubbling]
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♪ ominous music ♪
151
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Okay, shut the fuck up
about stupid-ass love.
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Let's do this.
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[computer beeping, machine whirring]
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♪ intense music ♪
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[all groan]
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[all groaning]
157
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You couldn't have made
the thing any wider?
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It triggered my scoliosis.
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Watching Alabama sorority TikToks
all day triggered your scoliosis.
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Leave my kick-ass tube out of this.
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Yumyulack, the emotioNOMeter.
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[beeping]
163
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Why does it look like one
of those love tester machines from a bar?
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I sprang for the thematic skin package.
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[alarm blaring]
166
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[laser charging]
167
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[laser fires]
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[man grunts]
[horns honking]
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♪ ominous music ♪
170
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♪
171
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Ha, ha! It's working!
172
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[computer beeping]
173
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[Opposites cheering]
174
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Suck a butt, Nancy Meyers!
We did it!
175
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Love can now officially fuck off!
176
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And just in time
for February 14th.
177
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Let's hope this was enough
to get rid of Valentine's Day.
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[all groan]
179
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:01,820
KORVO:
Oh, God, yes.
180
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,448
Oh, the juice is so briny and pungent.
181
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,992
Mm, they really captured the aroma
of a public bathroom.
182
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These tiki drinks they added
are tiki-mazing!
183
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I'm just glad this place
is back to normal.
184
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,208
[people sobbing quietly]
185
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:18,003
I really hope removing love from Earth
didn't have any long-term side effects
186
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like when we messed
with the Jingleverse
187
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in the holiday special?
188
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Yeah, right, there's no way we'd be
in another holiday special
189
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,844
where we turn everyone into zombies.
190
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[Korvo, Terry, and Yumyulack laughing]
191
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:28,514
TERRY:
Yeah.
192
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♪ romantic music ♪
193
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This is bullshit.
194
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How am I supposed
to find something to wear
195
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,395
for St. Patrick's Day when all
the stores have been closed
196
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and turned into Tommy Bahamas?
197
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,024
I tried to stop for lunch
at Lolo Burger,
198
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:41,318
but every restaurant is now
a Margaritaville,
199
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:43,529
Islands, or Cheeseburger in Paradise.
200
00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:45,197
- What?
- Wow, what a day.
201
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:46,782
I'm drunk as hell, but not throwing up.
202
00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:47,991
[Terry vomits]
203
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,369
I made a bunch of friends
on this tiki crawl.
204
00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:52,037
We hit up the ukulele center
205
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:54,873
and jammed Trop-Rock hits
until for hours.
206
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:55,749
Hours.
207
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,085
Only letdown was when we tried
to buy some parrots.
208
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,628
Every pet store is sold out.
209
00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:01,839
[gasps]
Parrots are supes in vogue I guess.
210
00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:05,050
Interesting, um, I'm gonna go
take care of some stuff.
211
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,552
So if you're wondering where I am--
212
00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:07,261
No one gives a shit.
213
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:10,472
Korvo, all this basic beach stuff
must be our fault!
214
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,724
I told you we shouldn't have
removed love from the world.
215
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,393
Oh, enough with the hysterics, Jesse.
216
00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:15,769
You thought there were gonna be zombies.
217
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,522
Just because the town is taking on
a bit of a chill island vibe
218
00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:21,316
doesn't mean it has anything to do
with our removing love from the planet.
219
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,110
I'm sure AISHA has an explanation
220
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,862
that completely exonerates us.
221
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,239
AISHA: Oh, this is
one hundred percent y'all's fault.
222
00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,824
Well, there's a first time
for everything.
223
00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,826
AISHA: When you removed love
from everyone on Earth,
224
00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:33,036
it left humans with "soul holes."
225
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,163
- Oh!
- Dumb, but continue.
226
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,708
AISHA: You created a power vacuum,
but for happiness.
227
00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:40,210
The thing that most naturally fills
a loveless hole
228
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:43,672
in a human soul is Parrot Head
Margaritaville Tiki culture.
229
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,341
And that's happening
to every human on earth.
230
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:49,303
Who cares, it's tiki time, muthafucka!
231
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:52,973
We need to release love back
into the world before things get worse.
232
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,267
Just like it did in the Christmas special.
233
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:56,685
I already hung a lantern on that.
234
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,437
Tiki culture isn't going
to destroy the world
235
00:07:58,437 --> 00:08:00,105
and usher in a post-apocalyptic era
236
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,857
à la the greatest motion picture ever,
237
00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:02,691
The Book of Eli.
238
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:03,609
I'll prove it to you.
239
00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:07,696
♪ upbeat tropical music ♪
240
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:10,949
♪
241
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,492
[crane whirring]
242
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,913
[blender whirring]
243
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,542
[slurping]
244
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,423
No salt?
BOTH: Oh!
245
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,676
♪ upbeat tropical music continues ♪
246
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,220
[marker squeaking]
247
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:36,266
♪
248
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:37,935
[drill whirring]
249
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,480
[alarm blaring]
250
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,565
Ah, geez, the Earth's core's
made of rum!
251
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,568
[both yelling]
252
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,864
[people cheering]
253
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:55,285
♪
254
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,621
Okay, even though this isn't the same
as the Christmas special
255
00:08:57,621 --> 00:09:00,040
and you were wrong about the zombies.
- Ah, geez.
256
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,208
♪ steel drums playing ♪
- It is very bad
257
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,126
and could have
planet-destroying consequences.
258
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:05,420
The Pupa is supposed
to destroy the planet, not us.
259
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,505
Terry, will you stop?
260
00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:07,756
Put down those mallets.
261
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:10,259
It's time to release love
back into the world.
262
00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:12,845
Yeah, right,
this new world rocks, Korvo.
263
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:14,888
I got a Blue Hawaiian at the post office.
264
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,974
I am not setting foot, nay, a toe
265
00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:18,392
in a flip flop-less world.
266
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:21,520
No love means
no 90 Day Fiancé, Terry.
267
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,939
[yelps]
To the containment unit.
268
00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:25,524
[Jesse gasps]
- Where's the fucking thing?
269
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:27,234
Terry, you've been home this whole time!
270
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:30,445
How did you not notice someone stealing
a gigantic heart-shaped containment unit?
271
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,906
You drink 37 Mai Tais
and try noticing shit.
272
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:35,826
JESSE:
Juul pods.
273
00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:37,160
[sniffs]
Balut egg.
274
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,705
[sniffs]
New car smell. Caramel budino.
275
00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:41,415
These are Yum's favorite flavors.
276
00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:43,709
What's that awkward
little fuckboy up to now?
277
00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:45,294
- Woo-woo.
- He's got his scent.
278
00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:47,254
Good Pupa. Find the Yum-ster.
[Pupa sniffing]
279
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:51,383
♪ wondrous music ♪
280
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:53,802
Nice tracking, Pupa.
281
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,138
Here's $700 to spend at Epcot Center.
282
00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:57,556
No Magic Kingdom, you hear me?
283
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,100
We may be too late to save the Earth.
284
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,476
It's snowing in Florida.
285
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,562
Wait a second.
That's not snow.
286
00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:05,772
[sniffs]
It's parrot poop.
287
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:06,940
Poop fight.
[splatters]
288
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,610
We all love poop fights,
but now is not the time.
289
00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:12,029
What the flock?
290
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:15,407
[parrots squawking]
291
00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:17,201
♪ ominous music ♪
292
00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:20,454
Come, come, we've been expecting you.
293
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:23,165
Expecting you, expecting you.
294
00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:25,250
Yumyulack, you little bitch,
what is all of this?
295
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,585
[squawks] Little bitch.
296
00:10:26,585 --> 00:10:29,880
Just my massively successful
parrot breeding operation,
297
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,798
and it's all thanks to Terry.
298
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,091
Terry, Terry.
299
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,676
You're welcome.
I mean what?
300
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,345
Your little tip about
the parrot shortage.
301
00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:39,598
Due to a lack of love,
there was a high demand and low stock,
302
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,518
so I opened the biggest
parrot mill in the world.
303
00:10:42,518 --> 00:10:44,228
In the world. [squawks]
304
00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:46,355
These repetitive dummies
are making me rich.
305
00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:48,065
As your mission leader,
I demand you give up
306
00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:49,608
this weird fucking bird business.
307
00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:51,652
Yeah, right.
Jimmy's got the music.
308
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:52,861
Tommy's got the shirts.
309
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:54,780
And Yummy's got the parrots.
310
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:57,866
Please, Yumyulack, please give us back
the containment unit.
311
00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,869
Do you really want the Pupa to grow up
in a world without love?
312
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,788
Our TV shows suck now, Yumyulack.
313
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,414
Bob Works With Abishola?
314
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,999
Everybody Knows Raymond?
315
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,585
I dropped the containment unit
into the bottom of the volcano
316
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:09,753
from Joe Versus the Volcano.
317
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:10,671
That doesn't exist.
318
00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:12,214
These parrots are the perfect commodity.
319
00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:13,507
Smart enough to be a good pet
320
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:15,509
but too stupid to ever fight back.
321
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:16,844
Nothing can stop me now.
322
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:19,847
[laughing maniacally]
323
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:21,306
No!
324
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:23,809
What did you just say to me?
325
00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,854
♪ intense music ♪
326
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:29,940
[straining] I said no!
327
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:34,152
PARROTS:
No! No! No!
328
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:36,572
What the hell?
Are these parrots fighting back?
329
00:11:36,572 --> 00:11:38,282
I've got it under control.
330
00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:39,199
I'm the boss.
331
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,034
These stupid parrots
have to listen to me.
332
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,078
[screaming]
333
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,329
PARROTS:
No! No!
334
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,331
Freedom!
335
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,001
[parrots squawking]
336
00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:50,002
[wings fluttering]
337
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:53,839
Aw, geez, parrot revolution!
338
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:54,840
It's still not zombies!
339
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,508
I never said zombies!
340
00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:03,682
♪ intense music ♪
341
00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:06,226
NARRATOR: After a family
of aliens removed love
342
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,311
from the world,
343
00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:10,314
their soul holes were filled
with Margaritaville.
344
00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:12,691
Yumyulack capitalized
on island culture
345
00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:15,235
by manufacturing
and selling parrots
346
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,529
to every household
across the globe.
347
00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:21,325
But he didn't realize
that they could read.
348
00:12:21,325 --> 00:12:24,328
The New Yorker articles he used
to line their cages
349
00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:27,206
enhanced their
already intelligent minds.
350
00:12:27,206 --> 00:12:29,041
It was the perfect storm.
351
00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:32,002
The parrots turned on their masters
and broke their bonds.
352
00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:35,255
With a bird in every house,
the human race was caught unprepared
353
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,090
for the feathered uprising.
354
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,343
The parrots organized, militarized,
355
00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:41,512
and went after the biggest prize of all,
356
00:12:41,512 --> 00:12:43,639
civilization itself.
357
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,975
After a bloody conflict
known as World War P,
358
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,269
the parrots emerged victorious.
359
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,188
They subjugated humanity,
360
00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:55,150
becoming the dominant species
on Earth practically overnight.
361
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,361
Humans are an afterthought.
362
00:12:57,361 --> 00:13:00,113
The Age of the Parrot is now.
363
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:03,617
♪ intense music ♪
364
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:04,660
[parrot squawking]
365
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:05,702
[splatters]
366
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,790
♪ intense music ♪
367
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,917
[parrots squawking]
368
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,919
♪ somber music ♪
369
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,296
[parrot squawks]
[human grunts]
370
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,006
I'll never say it.
You can't make me.
371
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:19,633
Gah, you feathered fucks!
372
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,593
Just say "Korvo wants a cracker."
373
00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:24,763
I'm telling you, man,
life gets way easier once you sympathize.
374
00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:27,724
No, I'm a hyper-intelligent alien
with regenerative capabilities,
375
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,560
and I own a secret book
that has all three answers
376
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:30,394
to the meaning of life.
377
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:31,728
These are birds, gah!
378
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,438
Fucking Yumyulack, this is all his fault.
379
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,941
Yeah, that little fart face really knows
how to cling to power.
380
00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:37,359
Jesse is our only hope.
381
00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:40,445
You could probably find Jesse
and her band of human rebels here.
382
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:41,488
She loves hiding here too.
383
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:42,489
Oh, if she's over here,
384
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,741
she definitely wouldn't see
a brutal slaughter coming.
385
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,785
If you need me,
I'll be in my room playing Mario Kart.
386
00:13:47,286 --> 00:13:49,246
How about pasta for dinner tonight?
387
00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:51,415
Everything's been so seed-forward lately.
388
00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:52,332
We should mix it up.
389
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,792
[necks cracking]
[parrots squawk]
390
00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:56,170
No! My best friends,
parrots number one and two!
391
00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:56,795
Ah!
392
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,756
♪ ominous music ♪
393
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:02,718
Ow, that bag scraped my giant eyes!
394
00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:05,137
Welcome to the resistance.
395
00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:07,848
Of course, a nerd like you
would drag me into school.
396
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,183
We turned it into our base.
397
00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:11,560
Parrots won't come near it
'cause of all the asbestos.
398
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,896
It's because they're cool
and school is for losers.
399
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,355
[Yumyulack grunts]
- Oh, you.
400
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,774
We know the parrots
are planning something.
401
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:19,276
Something big.
402
00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:21,695
I... I don't know
what you're talking about.
403
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:22,988
Boys.
404
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:24,740
[whooshing]
- Ah!
405
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:28,577
Notorious bird killers Randy Johnson
and Sully Sullenberger?
406
00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:30,996
Let The Big Unit
take care of this little traitor.
407
00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:33,957
No, I know there's still good in you!
408
00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:34,750
[drill whirring]
- Yumyulack!
409
00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:36,126
Down, boy.
410
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:38,086
You're a bounty hunter, Yum.
411
00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:41,048
Help us take down the parrots
and restore love to the world.
412
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:44,092
Then everything can go back
to the way it used to be.
413
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,219
Why would I wanna go back
414
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:48,555
to another year of not getting
any Valentine's Day cards?
415
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,181
What?
416
00:14:49,181 --> 00:14:51,767
This was never about cold-soaked tuna.
417
00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:54,019
I hated Valentine's Day more than anyone
418
00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:57,022
because I never got a card
from anybody at school.
419
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,482
I felt like such a loser.
420
00:14:58,482 --> 00:14:59,775
What are you talking about?
421
00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:00,817
Everyone gets cards.
422
00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:03,237
It's school policy
so nobody's feelings get hurt.
423
00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:04,530
Well, mine did!
424
00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:07,282
I never got a single Valentine,
so stop rubbing it in.
425
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:09,034
They put them in our cubbies.
426
00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:10,452
Oh, what's a cubby?
427
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:12,371
Holy shit!
428
00:15:12,371 --> 00:15:14,164
I had no idea we had cubbies.
429
00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:16,124
Look at all these Valentines.
430
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:18,293
All these people have a crush on me.
431
00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:19,878
I knew I was a dime piece.
432
00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:21,755
How are you this dumb?
433
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:25,342
Angela, Pamela, Sandra, and Rita.
434
00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:26,426
What have I done?
435
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,095
The parrots are gonna use my satellite
436
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:30,681
to permanently remove
the voices of everyone on Earth
437
00:15:30,681 --> 00:15:32,266
so they can rule
the world forever.
438
00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:33,725
Yumyulack, how could you?
439
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,143
I didn't know about cubbies.
440
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,812
We live in a digital age.
441
00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:37,938
These should be emails.
442
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,398
How much time do we have?
443
00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:42,526
They're launching a spaceship
to the satellite right fucking now.
444
00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:44,278
Oh, no!
445
00:15:44,278 --> 00:15:46,655
Wait, sorry, right in
a fucking half an hour.
446
00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:47,948
Did you just check your wrist?
447
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,575
Animation error?
Let's go!
448
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:53,370
You were right, Terry.
This actually isn't that bad.
449
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,831
And to be honest,
Korvo really did want a cracker.
450
00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:57,875
Oh, man, just wait till
they lick off the crumbs
451
00:15:57,875 --> 00:15:59,168
with their nubby little tongues.
452
00:15:59,168 --> 00:16:00,878
It's like getting tickled by an eraser.
453
00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:03,839
[airplane crashing]
454
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:07,509
It's no Hudson, but it'll do.
455
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:09,219
Ah, Sullenberger.
456
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:09,970
[parrots squawking]
457
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:12,139
♪ intense music ♪
458
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,474
[parrots squawking]
459
00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:19,730
Curveball, slider, fastball, boom!
460
00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:20,606
Changeup, boom!
461
00:16:20,606 --> 00:16:23,025
And you're dead, woo, woo, woo.
462
00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:24,860
[drill whirring]
463
00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:26,653
[parrot squawking]
464
00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:28,113
Come on!
465
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,409
Yumyulack!
466
00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:34,161
I'm not ready to lose my voice.
467
00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:35,787
I just learned about explaining things
468
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,372
to women they're already experts on.
469
00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:39,374
Randy, hurry!
470
00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:41,752
I love you, Jesse!
471
00:16:41,752 --> 00:16:43,420
I love you too.
472
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,714
Sometimes the game
doesn't go your way.
473
00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:47,299
[screaming]
474
00:16:47,299 --> 00:16:48,800
[parrots squawking]
475
00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:52,763
[intercom beeping]
476
00:16:52,763 --> 00:16:54,348
Can we please get some snacks?
477
00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:56,308
Terry, focus,
the parrots are on their way
478
00:16:56,308 --> 00:16:58,352
to Yumyulack's satellite right now.
479
00:16:58,352 --> 00:17:00,646
We need to find some other way
to restore love to the world.
480
00:17:00,646 --> 00:17:01,396
But how?
481
00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:04,066
No way we can get that containment unit
out of the volcano.
482
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:05,609
There is one other option.
483
00:17:05,609 --> 00:17:08,862
A species on this planet
with so much passion woven into their DNA
484
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:11,365
that they were immune
to the effects of the love removal ray.
485
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,283
JESSE:
Penguins!
486
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:14,868
Twice as monogamous as a human
487
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:17,287
and one of the most aquadynamic
animals in the world.
488
00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:19,373
Not once has a single penguin
cheated with me.
489
00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:20,415
They're very dedicated.
490
00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:21,708
Why did that even come up?
491
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,710
Go on, in the hatch,
you mate-for-life fuckers!
492
00:17:24,378 --> 00:17:26,713
Come on, penguins,
suck in those cute little bellies.
493
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:29,132
[Opposites groan]
494
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,551
We just need to get
these two fancy fucks
495
00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:32,553
to express their love
inside the energy chamber.
496
00:17:32,553 --> 00:17:34,638
My satellite will blast
their emotions onto Earth,
497
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:36,723
completely restoring love to humanity.
498
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:37,432
Look!
499
00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:38,851
We gotta hurry this shit up.
500
00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,353
Whoa, nice parrot ship.
501
00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:42,479
What the hell, Korvo?
502
00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:44,022
How come ours isn't shaped
like anything?
503
00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:45,607
The fuck do you mean?
It's shaped like a ship.
504
00:17:45,607 --> 00:17:47,860
Quick, someone says sexy stuff
to get these two feeling sweaty.
505
00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:50,153
I brought some gear
from the resistance headquarters
506
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,697
that should do the trick.
507
00:17:52,698 --> 00:17:56,326
No one can resist the sounds of romance.
508
00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:58,954
♪ Marvin Gaye's
Let's Get It On playing ♪
509
00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:02,875
♪ I've been really tryin', baby ♪
510
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,085
Ooh, look at the way
she's checking you out.
511
00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:07,379
That's one confident hunk of a penguin,
512
00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:08,922
uh, is what she's thinking.
513
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,175
Girl, did you see the way
he waddled in there?
514
00:18:11,175 --> 00:18:13,051
Somebody's been hittin' the igloo gym.
515
00:18:13,635 --> 00:18:14,636
I think it's working.
516
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:17,890
Fuck you!
517
00:18:18,891 --> 00:18:20,142
Birds forever!
518
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,854
They just ejected themselves into space.
519
00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:26,440
JESSE: The parrots must have
already gotten to them.
520
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,650
The birds have joined forces.
521
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:31,111
YUMYULACK: Damn, penguins
are truly an amazing animal.
522
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,446
I guess this is it, Terry.
523
00:18:32,446 --> 00:18:33,447
We had a good run.
524
00:18:33,447 --> 00:18:35,699
Ice Lava, trains, inventing NFTs.
525
00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:37,284
I just wish there was something
we could do
526
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,827
to save the world.
527
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,746
Ugh, why can't we love each other?
528
00:18:40,746 --> 00:18:42,539
We could operate
this stupid thing on our own.
529
00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:45,209
We can't!
Shlorpians only have teammate affinity.
530
00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:46,835
Not once have we bought each other flowers
531
00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:48,921
or given the other
a RAV4 with a bow on it.
532
00:18:48,921 --> 00:18:50,672
We've never done anything
that defines love.
533
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,466
I hate stupid teammate affinity.
534
00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:54,676
It's so annoying
that I miss you uncontrollably
535
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:55,761
the moment you leave a room.
536
00:18:55,761 --> 00:18:57,429
Right, and the way
it makes the prickly bumps
537
00:18:57,429 --> 00:18:59,056
on my arm stand up
whenever you bend over
538
00:18:59,056 --> 00:19:00,432
to pick up mail off the floor.
539
00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:01,850
[ship squawks]
540
00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:03,268
Since we're going to die anyway,
541
00:19:03,268 --> 00:19:05,604
maybe teammate affinity
will nudge the needle a little.
542
00:19:05,604 --> 00:19:06,396
I doubt it,
543
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:09,650
but any excuse to feel
your cold, cracked lips on mine.
544
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,360
[lips smacking]
545
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,111
[laser charging]
546
00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:13,946
[laser fires]
547
00:19:13,946 --> 00:19:15,322
♪ Ow ♪
548
00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:17,407
♪ If you believe ♪
549
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:19,368
It says "Hubba Hubba."
550
00:19:19,368 --> 00:19:20,452
Wait a minute?
551
00:19:20,452 --> 00:19:23,455
Does that mean we love each other?
552
00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:25,332
Quick, use more tongue!
553
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,417
Take him to mound town, Korvo!
554
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:29,294
This doesn't make sci-fi sense.
555
00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:30,712
Shut up and kiss me, king.
556
00:19:31,672 --> 00:19:34,675
♪
557
00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:37,469
♪ Let's get it on ♪
558
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:48,313
♪ I know you know
what I've been dreaming of ♪
559
00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:51,692
♪ Don't you, baby ♪
560
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,236
[rumbling]
561
00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:58,490
[palm squeaking]
562
00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:00,993
Keep doing the nasty. it's working.
563
00:20:00,993 --> 00:20:03,161
♪ Oh, help me ♪
564
00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:08,500
♪ I ain't going away ♪
565
00:20:09,001 --> 00:20:11,295
♪ No, I ain't gonna push ♪
566
00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:13,839
♪ I won't push you, baby ♪
567
00:20:13,839 --> 00:20:16,216
My mind isn't clouded by Buffett music.
568
00:20:16,425 --> 00:20:17,009
[parrot squawks]
569
00:20:17,009 --> 00:20:19,678
♪ Come on, come on,
come on, come on, darling ♪
570
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:21,221
♪ Stop beating 'round the bush ♪
571
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:22,681
Love is back.
572
00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:23,974
This is our chance.
573
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:25,225
[flames whooshing]
574
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:29,605
♪ Oh, gonna get it on ♪
575
00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:31,940
♪ Begging you, baby ♪
576
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:32,983
[computer beeping]
577
00:20:33,317 --> 00:20:34,359
Woo-hoo!
578
00:20:35,444 --> 00:20:37,196
Alright, you guys can stop now.
579
00:20:37,196 --> 00:20:38,447
♪ That it's wrong ♪
580
00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:39,198
JESSE:
Guys?
581
00:20:39,198 --> 00:20:40,365
Guys?
582
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:45,078
NARRATOR: A family of aliens
turned the world upside down,
583
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:48,707
but that same family were
the only ones who could save it.
584
00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:51,585
Korvo and Terry
sucked and fucked their way
585
00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:54,421
to restoring humanity
through the power of love.
586
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,257
The human uprising was swift and brutal.
587
00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:58,967
They called it World War H
588
00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:01,845
which was a little redundant,
but nobody cared.
589
00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:04,389
All parrots and Jimmy Buffett were exiled
590
00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,724
to a remote island.
591
00:21:06,141 --> 00:21:08,310
There was just one last thing to do.
592
00:21:09,019 --> 00:21:11,855
♪ wedding march plays ♪
593
00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:13,232
[tires screeching]
594
00:21:13,232 --> 00:21:14,024
[car crashing]
[parrot squawks]
595
00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:18,111
♪ wedding music continues ♪
596
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:28,664
♪
597
00:21:28,664 --> 00:21:30,832
AISHA: Korvo and Terry
would like to welcome you,
598
00:21:30,832 --> 00:21:34,002
their family, friends,
and public domain characters,
599
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:37,005
to the undisputed wedding of the century.
600
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:38,507
Hell yeah, bitch!
601
00:21:38,507 --> 00:21:41,802
I'm Bigfoot, and this shit is toit!
602
00:21:41,802 --> 00:21:43,679
AISHA: Because the ritual
of Shlorpian prayers
603
00:21:43,679 --> 00:21:45,973
has the power
to melt carbon-based life,
604
00:21:45,973 --> 00:21:47,683
we'll skip straight to the vows.
605
00:21:47,683 --> 00:21:48,517
Korvo?
606
00:21:48,517 --> 00:21:50,602
Terry, you were randomly assigned
to me at the brink
607
00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:52,563
of our home planet's destruction.
608
00:21:52,563 --> 00:21:54,815
I probably would've picked
anyone else given the chance,
609
00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:55,816
but I would've robbed myself
610
00:21:55,816 --> 00:21:58,068
of the greatest mission partner
an alien could want.
611
00:21:58,068 --> 00:21:59,486
I love you.
612
00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:01,989
Perhaps it's fate
that today is Valentine's Day,
613
00:22:01,989 --> 00:22:04,825
since you will once again
be taking my heart,
614
00:22:04,825 --> 00:22:07,703
not from tyranny,
oppression, or persecution,
615
00:22:07,703 --> 00:22:09,413
but from annihilation.
616
00:22:09,413 --> 00:22:12,249
Today, the 14th of February,
will no longer be known
617
00:22:12,249 --> 00:22:13,750
as an American holiday
618
00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:16,879
but as the day when the world
declared in one voice,
619
00:22:16,879 --> 00:22:19,214
we will not go quietly into the night,
620
00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:21,383
we will not vanish without a fight,
621
00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:22,634
we're going to love on!
622
00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:25,554
We are going to marry Korvo!
623
00:22:25,554 --> 00:22:28,515
[audience cheering]
624
00:22:28,974 --> 00:22:30,017
That was beautiful.
625
00:22:30,017 --> 00:22:32,603
AISHA: By the power vested in me
by the Catholic church,
626
00:22:32,603 --> 00:22:33,687
just for today,
627
00:22:33,687 --> 00:22:36,732
I now pronounce you husband and husband.
628
00:22:36,732 --> 00:22:39,109
Okay, go ahead and kiss,
I wanna see this.
629
00:22:39,109 --> 00:22:41,486
[glass shatters]
[audience cheering]
630
00:22:41,486 --> 00:22:42,487
[lips smacking]
631
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:49,745
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
632
00:22:49,745 --> 00:22:54,249
♪
633
00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:30,911
[mimicking laser fire]